so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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