I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
