I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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