You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
