So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
