Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
