i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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