Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
