Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
