Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
