Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
