After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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