haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My hand turned me down
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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