Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
