It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
