When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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