i was born a porn star she said
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
