I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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