you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
