yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
