could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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