Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
