Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
