I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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