...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You are the jesus of drinking
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
