We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
