I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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