But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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