dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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