what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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