I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
