I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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