I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
