I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
