What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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