I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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