lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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