So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I intend to get homeless drunk
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
