im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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