he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
