dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
