please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
