Don't you send me to vm
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
