another moral hangover. fuck.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
