Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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