Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
