i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
