if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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