I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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