it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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